Ironic
by Corsiva Vyrae
Summary: It's the squadron's day off and Roy has organized a staff party! There's free food, people who are practically family and even entertainment! Who wouldn't want to be there? Of course, Edward never knew he was going to be performing either. RoyxEd Fluff!


**Disclaimer: **I is not pwn FMA. If I did then Roy would've kissed Edward by now –laughs deviously-

And there he was, the famous Major Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, also known as 'Dog of the military on the people's side/Hero of the people. Youngest person to enter the military at the tender age of 12 years old and a child prodigy. He was 20 now, and very much alive, although he's had a few close calls here and there, and he was acting perfectly normal.

"WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL HE HAS TO SHOUT JUST TO WHISPER IN SOMEONE'S EAR?!"

Yes. Normal.

"Quiet, Fullmetal. It's one of the rare days where the whole squadron gets a day off and you've already started making my ears bleed."

Then there was Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, also known as 'Hero of the Ishbal war'. He's the youngest Colonel there is. The black haired man rubbed his forehead, letting out and exasperated groan. His headaches would always pop up when that blonde was around.

The crew was celebrating a staff party today (with a few extra individuals invited.), the group consisted of Roy, Edward, Alphonse, Riza, Winry, Hughes, Breda, Armstrong, Sciezska, Falman and Fuery. All of them were in civilian clothes, free from the military issued inform.

"Bastard." Edward muttered angrily, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Oi, boss, where are we going anyway?" Jean spoke up, another cigarette dangling from his lips. "We are going to be entertained with a performance by none other than Fullmetal of course!" Roy smirked as he watched Edward's face twist from shock, to anger, slowly turning blue, purple and then as red as his coat.

"I'M GOING TO _**WHAT**_??!" Edward screamed, he was about to turn and head back before he was suddenly held back by a pair of unnaturally muscular arms that picked him up and carried him bridal style.

"Where to, Colonel?" Major Alex Armstrong said, holding the beyond-furious beansprout that was trying to claw his was out of the vice grip.

"_**PUT. ME. DOWN.**_" Edward hissed, glaring at the hulk.

"Brother, stop making a fuss about it. I haven't heard you sing in _ages_. This would be good for you you know." Alphonse said, looking warily at his brother.

"Traitor." Edward huffed angrily, "Brother…"

Edward stopped squirming, it was a losing battle anyway. He slapped his forehead with his palm. _What the hell did I get myself into?!_

"We're here!" The Colonel ushered everyone inside the one-floored complex, directing them towards the seats near a stage. There was a buffet table and a large round table enough to seat all of them.

"I reserved this place just for the staff party." Roy said, sitting down in his own seat before gesturing for Armstrong to place the blonde on the stool on the stage. Edward sighed and redid his braid quickly; he adjusted himself on the seat and grabbed the guitar lying on the floor. He moved the mic towards him, strummed the first chords, and started to sing.

(IRONIC BY ALANIS MORISSETTE Acoustic Version.)

_An old man turned ninety-eight._

_He won the lottery and died the next day._

"That's so sad." Sciezska whispered to herself, listening to Edward's surprisingly good voice.

_It's a black fly in your Chardonnay._

Roy chuckled, he's experienced that on one of his dates.

_It's a death row pardon two minutes too late._

_And isn't ironic…don't you think?_

_It's like rain on your wedding day._

_It's a free ride when you've already paid._

Armstrong smiled to himself, he couldn't wait to tell the rest of his subordinates how good a singer the Fullmetal Alchemist really was.

_It's the good advice that you just didn't take._

Hughs nudged Roy in the ribs playfully while Roy just glared.

_Who would've thought…it figures._

_Mr. Play it safe, was afraid to fly._

Breda grinned at Fuery, remember Fuery's silly fear of dogs. Fuery muttered something under his breath.

_He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye._

_He waited his whole damn life to take that flight_

_And as the plane crashed down, he thought_

"_Well isn't this nice."_

_And isn't ironic…don't you think?_

Riza closed her eyes and listened to Edward, he was a brilliant singer.

_It's like rain on your wedding day._

_It's a free ride when you've already paid._

_It's the good advice that you just didn't take._

_And who would've thought…it figures._

_Well life has a funny way on sneaking up on you,_

_When you think everything's okay and everything's going right._

_And life has a funny way of helping you out,_

_When you think everything's gone wrong and _

_Everything blows up in your face._

Al listened to the song he hadn't heard his brother sing in so many years. It was Edward's song and he would listen to it whenever he was having a bad day.

_A traffic jam, when you're already late._

Falman glanced at his superior, he knew Colonel had used that excuse so many times to keep from becoming target practice.

_A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break._

Jean laughed, he could relate to that.

_It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife._

_It's meeting the man of my dreams _

_And then meeting his beautiful husband._

Roy snorted, Edward really loved humor.

_And isn't it ironic…don't you think?_

_A little too ironic…and, yeah, I really do think…_

Everyone watched in rapt attention as Edward played the last chords, he had closed his eyes and was singing from the heart. He seemed to be enjoying his own performance. Edward opened his mouth and sang again, sounding like an angel, and, in Roy's opinion, a wee bit like a girl.

_It's like rain on your wedding day._

_It's a free ride when you've already paid._

_It's the good advice that you just didn't take._

_Who would've thought…it figures_

Edward opened his eyes. A few seconds of silence before a loud applause came, filling the whole room. Edward bowed and got off the stage, it was time to get on with the party.

' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' 

After the party, the group parted ways and went home, leaving behind Roy and Edward to walk to their apartment together.

"You never told me you could sing, Ed." Roy said, taking Edward's hand and intertwining his fingers in his. "Yeah, well, there was never really any time to sing." Edward replied nonchalantly.

"Al told me you could also play the piano, the violin and the drums." Roy smirked as Edward tensed. "That traitor…" Roy chuckled again, ruffling the blonde's hair. "I never knew you were also a prodigy in the music industry.""Well, I am, get over it."

Edward unlocked the door and stepped inside, removing his boots and settling comfortably in the couch, wrapping the blanket on the armrest around himself.

Roy snapped and the fireplace lit up, the sound of fire crackling and warmth soon engulfed the room. Roy sat down beside Ed, taking one end of the blanket and wrapping himself into it as well, wrapping one arm around the blonde to pull him closer. Edward sighed in content, looking up to see ebony colored eyes staring at him.

Roy curved his lips into a smile and leaned down to kiss his golden eyed subordinate gently, removing Ed's hair tie in the process, letting the golden hair cascade down to his shoulders. "Love you." Roy whispered, leaning his head on Ed's and closing his eyes. "Love you too." Edward replied, snuggling closer and shutting his eyelids, taking Roy's hand once again before falling into sweet dreams.

And there, on the couple's intertwined hands, 2 rings glinted in the firelight, making the engravings visible.

'_Let's stay together always. Keep holding on.'_

_**8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-88-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8**_

Hey guys! This is my first time writing a RoyEd ficlet, so don't be too harsh on the reviews.

Just to make it clear, Roy and Ed are already married, and let's say that Al's body was returned to normal but not Ed's. Al and Winry are together.

The engravings came from the lyrics of the Fruits Basket opening and Avril Lavigne's song—Keep Holding On.

RoyEd forever!

-Corsiva V.

**-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8**

**BLOOPER REEL**

**Edward: WHO YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU HAVE TO…YOU HAVE…You…What the Hell was my line again?!" (everyone bursts into laughter)**

**Me: CUT!!!**

_llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll_

**Narrator: Then there was Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, also known as-(Ed grabs mic)'WOMANIZER!!!"**

**Roy: Oh, shut up.**

_iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_

**Edward: Busterd.**

**Roy: Pardon? Are you saying that I'm a 'Busterd'? (Laughs)**

**Al: Smooth pronunciation there Bro.**

**Hughs: Would anyone like some 'Mastard'?**

**Riza: Sir, we don't have any. We have some 'Casterd' though.**

**Edward: Alright, alright! Would you let it go!**

_qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq_

**Edward: **_**PUT. ME**_**-(Freezes) OWWWWW! Put me down! Put me down! Leg cramp!!! Leg cramp!!! Argh!!! Would you stop filming!!!! OWWWW!!!**

**Me: CUT!!!**

_vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv_

**Edward: (Face palm) Ow. **

**Roy: What'd you do this time?**

**Edward: I just hit myself with my automail. Ow. (Red hand mark appears on face)**

**Everyone: (bursts into laughter)**

_wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww_

**Edward: (singing)**

**Hughs and Roy: (dancing behind Edward)**

**Everyone: (laughing)**

**Edward: What? What're you laughing at? The hell's so funny?!**

_yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy_

**Narrator: And there, on the couple's intertwined hands, 2 rings glinted in the firelight, making the engravings visible. 'Let's stay together always. Keep holding o-Oh god, this is so cheesy. Who the hell wrote this?!**

Edward: (snuggling position with Roy) Shut up and do your job! You haven't got the harder one!

Roy: (pulls Edward closer) Not that I'm complaining….

Edward: (blushes)

Hughs: GET A ROOM!

Everyone: (laughing)

Roy: If you say so…(carries protesting Edward bridal style and walks out)

Me: THE BOTH OF YOU GET YOUR ASSES BACK HERE AND SNUGGLE TO DEATH OR, SO HELP ME, I'LL MAKE YOU DO SOMETHING **VERY **UNCOMFORTABLE TO DO IN FRONT OF THE CREW!!!

Roy: Fine with me.

Me: (slaps forehead


End file.
